First Day of School...Ramblings

As the public schools in BC remain on strike, yesterday was officially the first day of school for us. I didn't go with my kids yesterday as I woke up at 4:30 am and could not go back to sleep no matter how hard I tried. By the time 8:00 am rolled around I was too tired to move and had my husband take the kids to school, it was rainy, miserable type weather that only made me sleepier. Today though, I did take my kids to school, briefly met my oldest daughter's teacher and saw the usual faces. I have to admit driving into the school I could feel my stomach sink, I already knew what to expect, and I wasn't wrong....many unfriendly faces and people who only say "hi" to me when they are alone, now ignoring me. I'm really tired of the parents here, so unfriendly and some down right nasty. I'm sick of the fakeness that exists within these people's personalities, but what can I do? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

My kids love this school, I love this school. So far the teachers have been great and my kids come home happy telling me all the things they have learnt for the day. But every year I hold out some hope that there will be a mom like me, or not like me that accepts me and my non scarf wearing head. I've learnt to be picky when choosing friends, your friends represent pieces of who you are and I've come to respect myself enough to not put up with such people, Muslim or otherwise.

I have to say now that both my kids are in school full time, I have no idea of what to do with my days. I've been cleaning and organizing, decorating the baby's room and trying to exercise a bit, but after all is done, I'm bored. If I weren't so pregnant right now I think I'd be looking for a job, even though I'm not looking for a job right now, it's been on my mind. I think I'm craving social interaction more than I am a paycheck, although getting paid would help a lot. It's been five years since we last had a baby in the house and it's crazy how much you forget, all the things you need and what you don't. This is the first time my husband and I are on our own with buying baby things, it's kind of empowering, but kind of nerve racking at the same time. Before my mom helped out a bit and I had a loving grandma who had happily sent us clothing (may Allah SWT bless her in the next life). Now we are doing it alone and that's OK too, lots of people manage and so can we.

Growing Our Family

For the past three years my husband and I (mostly I) have been debating, deciding and mulling over the idea of having another child. The decision for him was much easier. Life with two kids has really been wonderful and I felt like I didn't want to disrupt the rhythm and ease of my two girls. But, as I'm not getting any younger (not that I'm old), we decided it was time to have another baby. I am so thrilled to be adding a third child to our family. My five year old has been excited from day one, my four year old took a little while to warm up to the idea of becoming a big sister, but is now really excited and wants to come with me to all my doctor appointments. MashAllah, I'm currently 15 weeks along and this pregnancy hasn't been anything like the first two. With my first I had minimal morning sickness that didn't last for too long. My second pregnancy I was very sick, but I was lucky enough to have slept very well. This pregnancy the morning sickness lasted from 6-12 weeks and I'm still not getting much sleep, some days I'm so tired I forget the simplest tasks and the days just melt together. This third pregnancy so far has been different in so many ways, I don't know if it's because it's been five years since my last pregnancy, but there are little things I'm noticing.
1) I feel much calmer this time around, I don't know if it's hormones or what but I'm pretty relaxed.
2) I think I'm going to need to be in maternity clothes in a couple of weeks, with my first I was in them barely at 26 weeks and then 20 weeks with my second.
3) No one gushes over a third pregnancy. With my first everyone was jumping for joy asking what they could buy for baby Some people were jumping for joy with the second, and this one people are mostly happy, but it's just more like "oh look she's having another baby".
4) This is probably connected to number one, but I know what both a c-section and a vaginal birth are like, there's no mystery and fear about the unknown (there's still a little fear of the known).
5) I don't feel like I have to buy everything Toys R Us sells for baby. Babies need love, clothes, diapers, a car seat and a place to sleep. Not everything has to be new either.
6) Kids, once they are happy about the idea of another sibling are really eager to help out their mama. This type of help was hard to come by during my first pregnancy while my husband was at work.
7) Finally, no one gives you unasked for advice anymore (thank God!), they figure after having your second child you must be a pro.