Wednesday, September 3, 2014

First Day of School...Ramblings

As the public schools in BC remain on strike, yesterday was officially the first day of school for us. I didn't go with my kids yesterday as I woke up at 4:30 am and could not go back to sleep no matter how hard I tried. By the time 8:00 am rolled around I was too tired to move and had my husband take the kids to school, it was rainy, miserable type weather that only made me sleepier. Today though, I did take my kids to school, briefly met my oldest daughter's teacher and saw the usual faces. I have to admit driving into the school I could feel my stomach sink, I already knew what to expect, and I wasn't wrong....many unfriendly faces and people who only say "hi" to me when they are alone, now ignoring me. I'm really tired of the parents here, so unfriendly and some down right nasty. I'm sick of the fakeness that exists within these people's personalities, but what can I do? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

My kids love this school, I love this school. So far the teachers have been great and my kids come home happy telling me all the things they have learnt for the day. But every year I hold out some hope that there will be a mom like me, or not like me that accepts me and my non scarf wearing head. I've learnt to be picky when choosing friends, your friends represent pieces of who you are and I've come to respect myself enough to not put up with such people, Muslim or otherwise.

I have to say now that both my kids are in school full time, I have no idea of what to do with my days. I've been cleaning and organizing, decorating the baby's room and trying to exercise a bit, but after all is done, I'm bored. If I weren't so pregnant right now I think I'd be looking for a job, even though I'm not looking for a job right now, it's been on my mind. I think I'm craving social interaction more than I am a paycheck, although getting paid would help a lot. It's been five years since we last had a baby in the house and it's crazy how much you forget, all the things you need and what you don't. This is the first time my husband and I are on our own with buying baby things, it's kind of empowering, but kind of nerve racking at the same time. Before my mom helped out a bit and I had a loving grandma who had happily sent us clothing (may Allah SWT bless her in the next life). Now we are doing it alone and that's OK too, lots of people manage and so can we.