Friday, May 9, 2014

The Preschool Bully

(photo credit: )

You can tell a lot about the nature of the parents, by the actions of their children. The values you teach your children in their first few years will leave a mark on them for the rest of their life. Most of the children in my daughter's preschool are genuinely good kids, my daughter plays well with them and vice versa. Every year though it seems that there is one (or more) kid that ruins what should be a fun preschool experience. Last year it was a group of three siblings that liked to use foul language and this year it's a child that is physically abusive. Sad fact is preschoolers can be bullies. Exclusion, physical aggression and teaming up against another child are all examples of bullying. Many people have a hard time labeling a four year old as a bully and don't even believe bullies exist until grade three and beyond.

The preschool my daughter attends operates two very small classes, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I'm talking about one to five kids in any class on any given day. There are reasons for this, but I won't go into that. Basically there are days when the physically abusive child or "the bad kid" as my daughter has come to call him, is there with her and no one else, there are also other days when he's with four other kids. The days when he is alone with my daughter or with my daughter and another child are the worst. As soon as we get in the car I hear about how this bad kid had pushed her, hit her or put glue in her hair.  From what my four year old tells me this "bad kid only hits girls". My daughter usually loves going to preschool, but I've recently found her to be a little more clingy and generally less happy after dealing with this other child. Unfortunately the teacher has been pretty useless in providing any information or resolutions to this problem. During a talk I had with the teacher, she had blamed this child for being violent towards her. If it wasn't for my daughter telling me what has been going on I would have never really known. It's very disappointing that this issue is not being handled or addressed properly at all by the teacher
I chose this preschool for my daughter because it's an Islamic preschool, no Halloween or emphasis on any other holiday we don't celebrate. I wanted to have the Islamic values that we teach at home to be reinforced by the teacher and practiced by her peers. I understand there will be kids like this in any preschool, but it's the handling of the situation that bothers me, it really makes me angry for my daughter. No one wants to see their child being bullied.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Growing Our Family

For the past three years my husband and I (mostly I) have been debating, deciding and mulling over the idea of having another child. The decision for him was much easier. Life with two kids has really been wonderful and I felt like I didn't want to disrupt the rhythm and ease of my two girls. But, as I'm not getting any younger (not that I'm old), we decided it was time to have another baby. I am so thrilled to be adding a third child to our family. My five year old has been excited from day one, my four year old took a little while to warm up to the idea of becoming a big sister, but is now really excited and wants to come with me to all my doctor appointments. MashAllah, I'm currently 15 weeks along and this pregnancy hasn't been anything like the first two. With my first I had minimal morning sickness that didn't last for too long. My second pregnancy I was very sick, but I was lucky enough to have slept very well. This pregnancy the morning sickness lasted from 6-12 weeks and I'm still not getting much sleep, some days I'm so tired I forget the simplest tasks and the days just melt together. This third pregnancy so far has been different in so many ways, I don't know if it's because it's been five years since my last pregnancy, but there are little things I'm noticing.
1) I feel much calmer this time around, I don't know if it's hormones or what but I'm pretty relaxed.
2) I think I'm going to need to be in maternity clothes in a couple of weeks, with my first I was in them barely at 26 weeks and then 20 weeks with my second.
3) No one gushes over a third pregnancy. With my first everyone was jumping for joy asking what they could buy for baby Some people were jumping for joy with the second, and this one people are mostly happy, but it's just more like "oh look she's having another baby".
4) This is probably connected to number one, but I know what both a c-section and a vaginal birth are like, there's no mystery and fear about the unknown (there's still a little fear of the known).
5) I don't feel like I have to buy everything Toys R Us sells for baby. Babies need love, clothes, diapers, a car seat and a place to sleep. Not everything has to be new either.
6) Kids, once they are happy about the idea of another sibling are really eager to help out their mama. This type of help was hard to come by during my first pregnancy while my husband was at work.
7) Finally, no one gives you unasked for advice anymore (thank God!), they figure after having your second child you must be a pro.