When you first become Muslim it's really easy to fall into the idea that every other Muslim out there wants to support you and genuinely wants what's best for you. Over the years I've learnt that this is rarely the case. My high expectations of Muslims very early on lead to far too many disappointments. I wish I hadn't had those expectations. Even more so, I wish that someone would have given me a reality check early on, so that instead of focusing on other Muslims and trying to be part of the crowd, I could have used that energy to focus more on Islam. So here is my list of personalities that should raise red flags.
-Talks with you when they are alone, but then completely ignores you when they are with their friend....run.
-Says to you after meeting them for the first time what you should not do or what you have to do...run.
-Constantly criticizes you...run.
-Refuses to recognize/treat you as a Muslim (not saying salam etc)...run.
-Tells you that you must make friends of your husband's nationality...run.
-Asks personal questions after only just meeting you, don't answer....just run.
-Who never talked to you suddenly shows interest because you are pregnant, new to hijab etc...run.
-Brags about how wonderful they are, chances are they aren't...run.
-Openly judges other Muslims, in front of those Muslims....run.
-Constantly asks you for favours, but is never there when you need a little help...please run.
-Knows you are a new Muslim and never invites you to a Mosque or a halaqa with them....run.
-Compares your clothing with theirs or your hijab with theirs in a negative way....run.
-Invites you to their home (they usually say inshAllah, abusing the word) and never bothers to tell you where they live or give you their phone number, or take yours....run.
-Abandons you when you really need help...take refuge in Allah SWT and run from that person.
As Muslims, especially new ones, we are taught that distrusting another Muslim is wrong and they deserve 70 excuses for what they do. We are human, Allah SWT sent down the Quran to teach us the best way to live in this life, so that we can be successful in the afterlife. As humans we don't always do what is right and it is up to each person to be aware of what is Islamically right and wrong. Far too often converts are taken advantage of because, lets face it we are more vulnerable than those who have been Muslim all their life. Many of us are still learning, and our learning continues for years and years. Although it may not always be possible it is important to surround ourselves with other Muslims who offer encouragement, understanding and most of all respect. Just because we weren't born into Islam, does not make us any less of a Muslim, anyone who says or treats you otherwise is arrogant and ignorant of their religion. Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone, many people have gone through their share of struggles in dealing with other Muslims. Some of us have been successful, while others' sadly have been conquered and left Islam entirely. Be strong and have confidence in yourself, don't let anyone bring you down.