Friday, May 9, 2014

The Preschool Bully

(photo credit: )

You can tell a lot about the nature of the parents, by the actions of their children. The values you teach your children in their first few years will leave a mark on them for the rest of their life. Most of the children in my daughter's preschool are genuinely good kids, my daughter plays well with them and vice versa. Every year though it seems that there is one (or more) kid that ruins what should be a fun preschool experience. Last year it was a group of three siblings that liked to use foul language and this year it's a child that is physically abusive. Sad fact is preschoolers can be bullies. Exclusion, physical aggression and teaming up against another child are all examples of bullying. Many people have a hard time labeling a four year old as a bully and don't even believe bullies exist until grade three and beyond.

The preschool my daughter attends operates two very small classes, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I'm talking about one to five kids in any class on any given day. There are reasons for this, but I won't go into that. Basically there are days when the physically abusive child or "the bad kid" as my daughter has come to call him, is there with her and no one else, there are also other days when he's with four other kids. The days when he is alone with my daughter or with my daughter and another child are the worst. As soon as we get in the car I hear about how this bad kid had pushed her, hit her or put glue in her hair.  From what my four year old tells me this "bad kid only hits girls". My daughter usually loves going to preschool, but I've recently found her to be a little more clingy and generally less happy after dealing with this other child. Unfortunately the teacher has been pretty useless in providing any information or resolutions to this problem. During a talk I had with the teacher, she had blamed this child for being violent towards her. If it wasn't for my daughter telling me what has been going on I would have never really known. It's very disappointing that this issue is not being handled or addressed properly at all by the teacher
I chose this preschool for my daughter because it's an Islamic preschool, no Halloween or emphasis on any other holiday we don't celebrate. I wanted to have the Islamic values that we teach at home to be reinforced by the teacher and practiced by her peers. I understand there will be kids like this in any preschool, but it's the handling of the situation that bothers me, it really makes me angry for my daughter. No one wants to see their child being bullied.


  1. ask to have a meeting with the childs parents and teacher so you guys can respectfully go about solving this issue. I'm pretty sure the child will slightly restrain themselves once they know it's come to the attention of their parents.

  2. Thanks for the advice. Since writing this post the child has not attended pre school, so I'll have to see what happens

  3. You could arrange a meeting with the teacher, and talk to the teacher, and a tip for that, is not to blame the teacher, as she could be un-aware of this bullying, but if you have told the teacher, then you should see the schools anti-bullying policy, and inform the teacher of it if she is failing to meet the standards of the policy.
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  4. Yes the teacher knows full well what was and is still going on. I've decided to take my daughter out of the Thursday class because of this (as said before it's usually just her and the "bad kid"). There are three preschool classes left until they get out for summer break, then we are done for good!